The Onion


America's Finest News Source.

DeSantis Signs Bill Banning Protests Outside Private Homes

Dollar Dangling From Fishing Line Sure Does Look Enticing

What To Know About The Infant Formula Shortage

Enlightened Child Realizes Chasing Vendetta No Way To Spend Entire Bumper Car Ride

People Who Haven’t Had Covid Explain How They’ve Avoided It For 2 Years

Johnny Depp Loses All Support After Fans Realize They’ve Been Confusing Him For Orlando Bloom

Judges Rule Calling Men ‘Bald’ Constitutes Sexual Harassment

Febreze Introduces New Rotting Rat Carcass For Covering Up Tough Odors

Intrepid ‘Better Homes And Gardens’ Reporter Embeds Self Within Lawn Gnome Community

Kindhearted Bouncer Lets Everyone Into Club For Being Hot In Their Own Special Way