The Onion


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Annoying Co-Worker Types So Loud

Earth Given 50-50 Chance Of Hitting Key Warming Threshold By 2026

Biden Touts Resiliency Of American Decline While Touring Factory That’s Been Closed For Decades

Congress Placed On Lockdown After Deranged Man Enters Senate With Gun Control Measures

Astronaut Lifts Helmet To Sneak Quick Forbidden Gulp Of Space Air

Dad Reads Menu With Restaurant Candle Like Archaeologist Deciphering Ancient Runes

L.A. Mayor To Provide Emergency Housing For Residents Who Spotted Homeless Guy In Neighborhood

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Scientists Grow Plant Seeds In Lunar Soil For First Time

D.C. Street Sweeper Lays On Horn At Saluting Pete Buttigieg Standing In Path

‘There’s A Razor On The Sink,’ Says Nurse Sending Patient To Bathroom To Fill Up Cup With Blood

Things No One Tells You About Moving Back To Your Hometown