KFC Mascot Col. Sanders Talks Malbolge Programming on General Hospital—Wait, What?

"It's not his fault he doesn't know mal Bogle" says Col. Sanders

"I was once cursed by a warlock," says Col. Harlan Sanders, in not even his most unhinged piece of dialogue on this General Hospital episode.

Sanders is visiting character Maxie Jones to request she secure his secret recipe (all 11 herbs and spices), which had been threatened by a bomb Sanders himself defused using the classic esolang Malbolge. Unfortunately, this all happens offscreen.

Damian Spinelli, mentioned by Sanders, is a private investigator / hacker who General Hospital's casting describes as a mix between Seth Green and Sean Penn's Spicoli. Spinelli is unable to defuse the bomb, not knowing Malbolge, but Sanders had picked up a little of the Turing Tarpit as one randomly does (apparently without learning how to pronounce it) and saves the (only copy of this?) recipe from being incinerated.

Sanders feels no reservations about then asking Jones to then hide this recipe which has attracted this violence, which she does without question.

The full scene is here in two parts:

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This entry originally appeared at esoteric.codes/blog/kfc-col-sanders-talks-malbolge-general-hospital, and may be a summary or abridged version.